I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Please don't give away my fajitas
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
