my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
