If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i wish my penis had a tongue
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You need a sexual gate keeper
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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