Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
