he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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