3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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