taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
