dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am one with the molecules
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
