3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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