it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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