I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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