addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
