My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
