1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
