Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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