Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
