That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
