I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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