please come you make the beer taste better
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
