so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
