these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
