VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
