If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
