Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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