I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
