We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
