My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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