They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
