the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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