operation harelip BJ is a go
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
