Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
