New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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