Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
