Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
