bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
