Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize