i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
