I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish I only lived at night.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
