I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Still dying that you shit outside
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
