Umm I'm too high to move.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize