new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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