I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just blew my weed a kiss
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
