She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
