During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you never un-have a 4some
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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