East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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