In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
