How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
