hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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