I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
