I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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