the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
