Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
