At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
