Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
