OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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