Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
