these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she looked like the before picture.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
