I'm really into asian looking animals
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize