it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
