I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
