Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
