He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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