There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize