The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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