is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's shark week go big or go home
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
