You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
