YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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