halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
