I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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