I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
